The best style is a hand-written note showing the recipient that you are expressing your true condolences in a personal manner.

Include your initial expression of sympathy for their loss; add a personal comment about the person who died, for example, a kindness shown to you, the value you placed on their friendship or how much they will be missed by others who knew them.

The letter of sympathy that you write shouldn't be too long - no more than a page.

Your letter could include a favorite quote that helps to express your feelings; or you can recount happy events shared, or cherished characteristics, or acts of kindness that were done for you by that person.

If you offer to help in anyway, make your expression of help real; for example, are you able to speak with them by phone no matter what time of day or night, are you offering to come and be with them over the next few days or weeks, are you willing to assist them in monetary ways until the estate is settled, for example, money for the funeral, flowers for the funeral home. Make sure you include your home phone number, or cell number, and/or email.

Notes of sympathy should also include your full signature that includes your surname so your note is not confused with anyone else's who has the same first name.