Writing a sympathy card can be challenging and difficult. Attempting to find or create common
ground with an individual who has recently experienced a devastating experience or scenario
is no easy task. Often times these individuals feel alone, isolated, and are suffering from
depression. Although the process is difficult to bare with, it is of normal tradition to construct a
sympathy card for the individual to express your sincerest apologies. Here are some very general
rules to consider when constructing a sympathy card
1) It is often best to keep the sympathy card and message relatively short. The reason being
is that it should be clear, concise, and focus truly on the concept rather than the wording
behind the message. Try to keep it anywhere from 250-500 words, exceeding past that
limit often seems as if it is a burden and can be seen as just dragging it out.
2) Do not attempt to over exaggerate your condolences if you are not close with the person
or know the overall situation. By over exaggerating your feelings, it can often time slead
people to think that it is being fabricated and fake.
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a. Dear Kim, I know your father was an exceptionally brave and caring individual
as he had raised you such a phenomenal daughter. Unfortunately I never met him;
however, I wish to say that he seemed like a magnificent person and a kind soul.
(Incorrect.)
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3) It is optional however suggested that you acknowledge the loss of a person. As difficult
as it may be say that you have acknowledged and understand their loss, it is essential for
the overall healing process. (Please accept my condolences on your loss, I am of great
sympathy for your hardships).
4) You should use your last name when signing the message, even if the person knows who
you are extremely well. It is still good to sign your name because there may be other
members of the family or friends that may have similar handwriting, first name, or even
last name. Therefore it is essential that you provide your full proper name for recognition.
5) Avoid phrases that seem melodramatic or can cause sadness. These phrases are difficult
to read and often times make the individual feel uncomfortable. Phrases like "Time
will heal all wounds" or "He knew his time was coming and embraced it", all sound
and acknowledge the fact that he was aware of his last days, and furthermore that the
experience will sit with the individual for many years to come.
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Dear John,
I would like to express my deepest and most sincere apologies for your loss. During a time
of hardship I wish to offer my support to you and your family in whatever way is possible. I
understand that dealing with this scenario is difficult, however, you are a strong individual and
have much support and love from many friends and family members.
Chris Woods
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