During times when a person is undergoing grief and suffering, it is difficult to determine which words will help ease their pain. Through these times, we often hear and use the words "compassion" and "sympathy." Some mistakenly think that they can be used interchangeably. Although the concepts that these words convey may overlap, their definitions encompass a different range of meanings.
Sympathy is a term used to describe a form of caring. One sympathizes with another person when he or she expresses concern and offers any type of assistance for the one facing sadness. Even if that person also somewhat feels the same sad emotions, this harmony in feeling is done from an emotional distance from the person. Sympathy is more of an idea or awareness of the emotions. With it, there is still that separation that exists between the sufferer and the one attempting to condole with him or her. One who sympathizes allows for suffering to linger and assumes it to be unendurable. The sufferer is likely to be cautious about his word choice for fear that something he says might result a burden for others. They are often frustrated and hopeless after such an encounter.
Compassion, on the other hand, is a state of being. Instead of simply mutually feeling the emotion, a person chooses to perceive this experience as a worldly occurrence. The person who is compassionate holds the belief that all negative experiences can be overcome with support. Knowing this allows him to remain at ease and give him the courage to be with someone in great pain. Having the will to share in the experience without hesitating or holding back in any way is what true compassion is. In order to do this, he must not judge the sufferer on how he expresses his emotions. He may truly be mourning or might even be numb to what is happening, but the person who is compassionate accepts whatever words or expressions will give him relief.
One with compassion does not expect and does not interrupt while listening. With sympathy, both people tend to build on the suffering, thus having the potential to make the original situation worse. While having sympathy can drain both people, having compassion sustains and pacifies. While in sympathy there is an implied powerlessness, compassion views pain as a stage that one will eventually go through and overcome. While in sympathy judgment and hesitation exist, compassion is open-minded and expressive. Sympathy causes emotions to be confined, while compassion instead, allows for a connection.
Once the recipient feels that a person is truly being compassionate, he or she may be more willing to open up about the experience and vent to the person who offered their open ears. Not only does this benefit the sufferer, who now has the opportunity to release their bottled-up emotions, but it also benefits the relationship itself through the building of trust and a stronger bond.
